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A Tribute to the Men of Maple Corner

 

Lew D’Array

December 2001

 

 

It all began with a community cause

But the project resulting has given us pause

And caused a few problems for Santa Claus.

 

“Where’s Maple Corner?” he queried his elves

“And who are these guys displaying themselves?

What is the attraction

Local studs shown in action

Radiating satisfaction

But driving me to great distraction!

 

“I know about wagons, and skates, and sleds

I know about dolls with curly blond heads

I’ve delivered some millions of teddy bears

And gone down some chimneys where no one else dares.

 

“Tinkertoys and puzzles and parlor games,

And puppies and kittens who need new names,

Even computers and new technology,

And Harry Potter’s most current mythology.

 

“You cannot imagine what’s been in my bag –-

But pictures of fellas whose bellies might sag?

A new one each month throughout the year

And this is supposed to generate cheer?

“Well, I guess what you want is what you should buy

If this is your thing, just give it a try,

I’m not into pictures of a near-naked guy;

That’s not what makes my reindeer fly!

 

But, anyway, Santa notwithstanding

Vermont ladies have the understanding:

The calendar’s a source of inspiration

That maybe applies throughout the nation.

 

Just muscle and sweat, no cute nose rings,

For these guys are depicted doing guy things:

Fishing and building and carrying wood,

Fun and chores and doing good.

 

A word of caution to my fellow guys:

If this calendar’s something your lady buys,

Think about what is turning her on --

It ain’t just the “bods” for these are kinda gone.

 

Your really don’t have to be a hunk,

That sort of thinking is really bunk;

But maybe there’s something about fun and hard work

That keeps us from turning into a jerk.

 

There’s something about a good sense of humor --

And this a truth and not just a rumor --

If you really want to be a man

All you gotta do is the best that you can!

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